As most of my regular blog followers have noticed, I have been pretty much missing in action these past few months. While it has been my intent to post weekly blogs, I have pretty much fallen by the way side, blindsided by health issues.
Without going into great detail again, since I wrote about this on my last blog, I had surgery on March 6th to remove a cyst from my neck area which was causing me many issues of discomfort and concern. What should have been a 2 week recovery has now turned into an ongoing battle of constant pain and residual effects resulting in a second surgery on April 24th and continuing pain from that.
Unfortunately I am one of the 5% of the population who sometimes develop a condition called a Chyle Leak which is the result of complications of neck surgery. To fix the Leak, I had to undergo another surgery on April 24th. I had no idea the extent or the pain associated with this second surgery and have been pretty much home bound and out of it, having little or no energy level and much constant pain and discomfort.
And I have found, even though I have the time, just being at home, I do not have the focus or the inclination to write. Surprise, surprise! Mainly because I am not smiling a lot lately. But rather, I am whining to anyone who unfortunately calls me to check on me.
My last blog was “Caught Between A Rock and A Hard Place” and it was pretty much about moving through post recovery. Well I meant what I said when I wrote it, and even followed my own tips, but I still got bogged down with giving into the constant pain and the constant struggle a bit too much. Do you know how easy it is to move into a state of laying down and doing nothing except dealing with the pain? It is indeed a fine line between that and moving through it.
So today, I have decided that’s enough now. There are so many more people who are suffering every single day and wish their levels of pain were as minor as mine. They have chronic suffering and have endured it far longer than I. I know mine is situational and I know it will get better because I am seeing it every day, slight improvement and movement towards reclaiming my life.
One thing I have personally learned and internalized through this 11 week experience is life is definitely to be cherished. We are all given options on how we navigate through trials and sickness. I know things are not going to get rosier just because I decide they will be. Life does not work like that. I cannot control the situation but I can control me in the midst of the situation.
So today I choose to work on my attitude and outlook. I am not going to fake it until I make it. But I will certainly appreciate the good moments and know that things are getting better.
My hope and trust is in God’s healing powers for me and in the fact that so many people are praying for me and have been throughout. That is a wonderful place to be; in someone’s thoughts and prayers. I appreciate all of the phone calls, the visits, the food that was brought by, the rides to and from places and the emails and cards. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life and I cherish that. My church family have been wonderful and have extended themselves in so many thoughtful ways. I truly love them for all they do and most importantly for who they are. I had so many offers of help, that I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude for their kindness they extended.
Without my sister and brother-in-law, I would not be as far along as I am. They have been my rock. They took me to the hospital, stayed with me, brought me home, took me back for doctor follow-ups and knocked themselves out helping me get my house ready for sale in the midst of all of this. I hands down have the best family and I thank God for them every day.
So If I were to sum this blog up, the whole point of it is to acknowledge that I count my blessings. I use affirmations of encouragement and positive thoughts. I may be fighting my way back from a horrendous 11 weeks of pain and discomfort but, I have been loved through it and cared for through it and for that I am grateful. Now I am getting up and I am getting busy!